| Why is now the perfect time for some fun | | | | Rodriguez, I am no longer the most |
| and entertaining David Letterman quotes? | | | | overpaid disappointment in New York |
| Because his birthday is right around the | | | | City." |
| corner! Dave's going to be 61! Let's | | | | 9. "I'm fifty, and I look like a regular |
| help him celebrate by reflecting on | | | | guy. You look like a poodle." |
| these 15 hilarious David Letterman | | | | 10. "This is TV the way it's supposed to |
| quotes. | | | | be, ain't it?" |
| 1. "Dick Cheney said he was running | | | | 11. "I don't know if you've ever seen |
| again. He said his health was fine, | | | | this show. Hell, I don't even know if |
| 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a | | | | you're watching now." |
| day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a | | | | 12. "For the love of God, folks, don't |
| man in good health, isn't it?" | | | | try this at home." |
| 2. "Last night the United States dropped | | | | 13. "USA Today has come out with a new |
| four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam | | | | survey - apparently, three out of every |
| Hussein. I don't know anything about | | | | four people make up 75% of the |
| explosives, but, my God, do those things | | | | population." |
| even need to explode?" | | | | 14. "New York now leads the world's |
| 3. "President Bush has been silent on | | | | great cities in the number of people |
| Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't | | | | around whom you shouldn't make a sudden |
| pronounce Schwarzenegger." | | | | move." |
| 4. "President Bush has said that he does | | | | 15. "I cannot sing, dance or act; what |
| not need approval from the UN to wage | | | | else would I be but a talk show host." |
| war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he | | | | Very few people can get me on the floor |
| didn't need the approval of the American | | | | rolling with laughter. David Letterman |
| voters to become president, either." | | | | is one of them. He truly has a gift for |
| 5. "There is no 'off' position on the | | | | making people laugh. Let's help him |
| genius switch." | | | | celebrate his birthday this year. These |
| 6. "Power corrupts. Absolute power is | | | | David Letterman quotes are a great way |
| kind of neat." | | | | to start. |
| 7. "There is a new billboard outside | | | | For more funny quotes, check out the |
| Time Square. It keeps an up-to-minute | | | | popular funny quotes section of |
| count of gun-related crimes in New York. | | | | Famous-Quotes-And-Quotations.com, a |
| Some goofball is going to shoot someone | | | | website that specializes in 'Top 10' |
| just to see the numbers move." | | | | lists of quotations in dozens of |
| 8. "I got some good news earlier today | | | | categories. |
| before the show. Thanks to Alex | | | | |